we only write in english to this topic
I will be in so many different places with different people. I will laugh at their jokes, somehow I am able to build empathy with all of them, I deeply understand all of them, I will behave as a very normal person with normal people, will be a complete weirdo with weirdos, but in my inner world, I always will be alien, at the surface I seem like completely adapted to almost every environment, but in my inner world I do not integrate to any of them, I am completely detached from the world, I am fully aware of it, but I do not and will not feel like a part of it, I realize the beauty and the cruelty of the world, I realize the complexity but at the same time the simplicity of the world, but I feel like an observant, surprisingly it does not make me uncomfortable, it makes me melancholic and bittersweet sad, but I like it, I feel like, in peace, I feel numbness, but it is not emptiness, it is kind of melancholic inner peace, my loneliness feels very precious and peaceful most of the time.
"And however hard I try to integrate,
Iʼll always remain alien."