10. (bax: çovdarlıqda uçurumdan qoruyan)

kitabı təzəlikcə bitirdim. əslində oxuyanda altını xətlədiyim cümlələrə görə biraz fikirlərimi yazmaq istəyirdim ama kitabım yanımda deyil gonna roll with it anyway. hardan başlasam, yazar olma işi xd bundan sonra uzun yazılar yazacam burda çünkü özünü ifadə etmə bacarığımın getdikcə yox olduğunu düşünürəm. tam bura kitabdan alıntı
"But I do say that educated and scholarly men, if they're brilliant and creative to begin with--which,unfortunately, is rarely the case--tend to leave infinitely more valuable records behind
them than men do who are merely brilliant and creative. They tend to express themselves
more clearly, and they usually have a passion for following their thoughts through to the
end."
the thing that makes me question is following your thoughts to the end cus i really think that it is a skill and i always find myself jumping from one idea to another never going deeper into smth that im thinking. im not sure about the reason of this thou maybe it is about my brain not wanting to reveal underlying patterns of my thinking. part of the reason im trying to write this reviev is this. i want to force myself to gather my thoughts about this book and hopefully make it a habit so i can understand myself better type shit.
"After a while, you'll have an idea what kind of thoughts your particular size mind should be wearing"
yazmaq yorucudu kaş video çəkməyi seçsəydim. kitab haqqında bəyəndiyim ən əsas şeylərdən biridə yazım tərzi idi,stream of consciousness, bilmirəm i always wanna read people`s minds so it makes me happy to read those kinds of books it feels like a most intimate conversation.
except the fact that he is an american upper class there were so many things that made feel so much empathy towards him. it made go back to my teenage years(which is not that far away lol) where i also struggled and didnt know how to deal with losing family member. reading his lonelines made me remember the nights that i felt like i was the loneliest person on the earth. bojackin bir bölümü ağlıma gəldi, hansı ki teenage qızı ilə hovuzun başında söhbət eləyirlər. ah lan
and him crying out of nowhere throughout the book made me feel kinda seen. idk being a teenage sucks being or trying to be an adult sucks even more. so it makes sense for him to wanna protect the innocence of childhood and being so attached to his sister, and his little sister being the thing that makes him think the world isnt as bad,makes him feel happy
"Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around--nobody big, I mean--except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff--I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them"
this is a great metaphor for me i wish i could have catch my little brother so he could have stayed as my lil bro
what else . kitabda teenage vaxtımdan bəri fikirləşdiyim ama hələdə nəticəyə gəlmədiyim fikirlərlə doludu
''Even if you did go around saving guys' lives and all, how would you know if you did it because you really wanted to save guys' lives, or because you did it because what you really wanted to do was be a terrific lawyer, with everybody slapping you on the back and congratulating you in court when the goddam trial was over, the reporters and everybody, the way it is in the dirty movies?"
like i still havent been able to answer to myself honestly if im becoming a doctor for the fuck of it or for the fulfillment. i dont even think that this is a question that has any solid answer hecne ag qara deyil nə də olsa nəysə burda dayanıram bəlkə kitabım əlimə təzdən gələndə bəzi şeylər də yazmaq istəyərəm
bir dənə də alıntı
"I mean how do you know what you're going to do till you do it? The answer is, you don't. I think I am, but how do I know? I swear it's a stupid question."
fr how do i know