Your partner carries you into the bedroom à la your favorite #BookTok MMC, only for you both to remember the duvet is still covered with laundry that needs to be folded. Or maybe you reach into your nightstand drawer for your wand vibrator, only to graze a stack of unpaid bills. Never mind… “Your bedroom is already shaping how you feel about sex,” says Ashley Giddens, interior designer, artist and founder of Ashthetics NYC.
It's not just clutter that can pull you out of the moment, or a tidy space that can help you stay in it, either, she says. Not to mention, the colors on the walls, sheets, and even the ceiling can influence how cozy, intimate, or downright sexy your bedroom feels, she says. With that, a little bedroom makeover can help set the stage for more (and better) sex.
According to Philadelphia-based ASSECT-certified sex therapist and clinical licensed social worker Melanie Greenberg, LCSW, CST, MEd, Founder of Pulling Threads Therapy, changing your surroundings isn't a guaranteed libido booster. Rest assured, you don't need a huge budget to bring it to life. Whether you've got $20 or $20,000 to spare, there's a way to make your bedroom a little sexier.
Here are nine expert-approved places to start. You might think a bedroom designed with sleep in mind and one designed for, well, doing it are two different beasts. But actually they are the same side of the coin: “If your bedroom doesn't help you sleep, you're probably not going to have much energy left for anything else,” Erica Corpening, co-founder and designer of Hidden Honey Homes, an adult-only boutique retreat emporium, tells Cosmopolitan.
On a physiological level, skimping on Zzz's can disrupt our endocrine system, potentially interfering with the hormones that support sexual functioning in the first place. That's why before you start shopping for silk sheets and sex swings, Corpening suggests that when designing a sex-friendly bedroom, “start with sleep.” First and foremost, that means getting a comfortable mattress—whatever that means to you. In particular, however, take a beat to consider your preferred squishiness, how much the mattress squeaks when you move, and the weight limit.
After all, if you can't get comfortable lying still, odds are you won't enjoy getting busy in missionary. It also means considering the bed height you enjoy most. It can also make getting into floor-based sex positions a whole lot easier.
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