A divorce lawyer who walked away from what she calls a "medium-suck" marriage is sharing the nine signs you might be in one yourself. Divorce remains a common part of American life. Researchers at the National Center for Family & Marriage Research estimate that roughly 40 percent of first marriages in the U.S. end in divorce.
Every couple has their own reasons for splitting up, but research suggests a handful of common factors emerge repeatedly. A study published in Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice found that divorced individuals most frequently cited a lack of commitment (75 percent), infidelity (59.6 percent), and excessive conflict and arguing (57.7 percent) as major contributors to the breakdown of their marriage. Financial problems (36.7 percent) and substance abuse (34.6 percent) were also among the leading causes of divorce.
Divorce attorney Hannah Hembree Bell's first marriage didn't end because of any one issue. Nothing was terribly wrong, but nothing was terribly right, either. That's when she realized she was in what she termed a "medium-suck" marriage.
It's the phrase she coined to describe the uncomfortable middle ground she found herself in. "There's no giant catastrophe. You may not even fight that much.
The bills get paid, the kids get to school, the family photos get posted, and from the outside, everything looks perfectly fine. But inside, you're quietly unhappy," Hembree Bell told Newsweek. "You're functioning, not flourishing.
And you've gotten so used to that low-grade unhappiness that you've started calling it normal." Hembree Bell can still remember the night she realized she was living that reality during a dinner with her first husband. "I had gotten all dressed up, done my hair, and was excited for a night together. He barely looked up from the menu," she said.
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