Before an engorged international break we have a gala weekend of derby games. Some of them are familiar, others rather longer in the waiting, others spurious in their definition but shoehorned in for tea-timely email purposes. Thursday night’s Bigger Vase defeat by Ferencvaros was not a great result for angry Martin O’Neill’s Celtic, coming three days before the Old Firm/Glasgow derby (delete as applicable according to adherence to Scottish company law), and four days after losing to Rangers in the Old Firm/Glasgow derby.
In Spain, Atlético v Real Madrid will see Diego Simeone and José Mourinho bring the morbo ruckus to the sidelines. A football match might actually break out, though that cannot be guaranteed when considering the managers involved. Plenty of anticipation for Millwall v West Ham, if not from the Met police, which has set up a Section 35 dispersal zone stretching across most of the map on the closing credits of EastEnders.
Saturday’s match-up will have rung out when the fixtures came out. That four points separate the two clubs in the battle for promotion has become a side issue. The “Dockers derby”, when supporters’ ancestors worked for rival firms either side of the Thames, hasn’t been played since 2012, the long years since consumed by the cartoon mythology of Danny Dyer, Tamer Hassan and the Rise of the Footsoldier franchise.
Talking of grudge matches, Wrexham v Southampton gained extra Spygate fizz when co-owners Ryan Reynolds and Rob Mac released a social media disgrace ad for their official web browser (!) on the “importance of privacy”. Elsewhere in the Championship, Wolves and West Brom are reunited for a first league fixture in five years, a Sunday high noon kick-off time reflecting West Midlands police’s similar concerns to their London counterparts after a 2024 cup date. Rather more genteel, a university challenge between Oxford and Cambridge, and after Oxon and Cantab split the men’s and women’s Boat Races, there’s first-class honours at stake, in a battle of League One playoff hopefuls.
To a couple of desperation derbies, then. They say you are never more than six feet away from a pest in a big city, and the same logic is true of turmoil at Manchester United and/or Tottenham. Did Michael Carrick shed tears after that Littlewoods Cup defeat by Brighton?
On Sunday United really, really must beat Fulham, for whom Álvaro Arbeloa is taking on the look of lame-duck manager, as well as that of a cross between General Zod and Rylan. If not, Carrick stares down the face of three weeks where “United in crisis” is blood in the water for needy hacks. Maybe Tottenham can provide cover.
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