Katie Zacharia lasted five days as Donald Trump's White House press secretary, which, let’s be honest, is barely enough time to figure out the fastest route to the bathroom or even learn the names of all of your colleagues. Her abrupt departure on Friday and the absurd way in which other White House employees have drifted in and out of the president’s orbit lead to a very simple question. What are the chances of getting hired by Donald Trump and, maybe more entertainingly, how long could one expect to remain employed by him?
We mimed stats and data (there is, indeed, a substantial body of evidence to examine) and came up with a very unscientific calculator that works as a prognosis of your potential latitude if you partake in this presidency. According to the Brookings Institution, 56 percent of senior White House positions had experienced turnover by September 30, 2026. During Trump's first administration, the figure reached 92 percent.
These numbers include resignations, promotions and dismissals, so they cannot tell us your individual probability of being fired, but they suggest that anyone accepting a White House position should consider negotiating a severance package before selecting a parking spot. In the interest of public service, here is a thoroughly unscientific employment guide based on six characteristics that might help determine your professional life expectancy under Trump. Our findings are drawn from selected real employees, not representative demographic averages.
So, the resulting "advice" should be treated with precisely the seriousness it deserves. Enter your age, sex, height, professional background and prospective White House job title to discover your estimated employment life expectancy. Results are based on real Trump administration departures and a generous helping of statistical irresponsibility.
Enter a few details and get your thoroughly unscientific White House life expectancy, measured against real staffers who came before you. This calculator is loosely based on the tenures of selected real White House staffers, not representative data, and predicts nothing about anyone's actual job security. Tenures are counted in calendar days, including first and last days.
For those who prefer to understand the science (or lack thereof) behind their professional prognosis, here's how the numbers breakdown. Zacharia's five-day tenure is particularly impressive when compared with that of Anthony Scaramucci, who managed 11 days as White House communications director in 2017, or Michael Flynn, who lasted 25 days when counting both his first and last day as national security adviser. Sally Yates, meanwhile, survived just 11 calendar dates as acting attorney general before Trump fired her for refusing to defend his travel ban.
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