Until I became a mom, no one would ever describe me as a "chill" person. When I say I'm not "chill," I mean I need 5-7 business days to adjust to plans changing. I don't go to restaurants that don't take reservations because it stresses me out.
If you want to invite me on vacation, give me at least an 8-month lead time so I can wrap my mind around going. Preparing to be a mom, I was really nervous that my anxiety would get the best of me. And yes, I've been on beta blockers before, so I'm well aware that most of the time anxiety isn't a choice.
You either have it or you don't. But just because you have anxiety most of the time doesn't mean you have to be an anxious mom. You just have to stop focusing on things that really don't matter.
Before we get to the story, here’s a quick welcome to Mildly Maternal: Diary of a Work In Progress Mom, a weekly check-in on how life is going as a new mom who wasn't sure she wanted to be a mom until she was told she couldn't get pregnant. If you’re not already following me on TikTok, Instagram, or Facebook, here’s a brief introduction. I’m a 34-year-old woman living in New York City with a 15-month-old and I am really making my own rules for being a mom because I know nothing.
As in, I never even held a baby before having a baby of my own (I know, I think my parenting scares my mom sometimes). I spent my entire pregnancy purposefully not planning what kind of mom I was going to be. I read no books, I learned nothing about the various methods of sleep, and had no idea how many choices there were when it came to baby formula.
When it came to my kid, I knew I was either going to be anxious about everything or I could be anxious about nothing. I decided nothing was better than everything. To fight this anxiety, I didn't let myself care too much about any of the million things that society tells you are critical that you obsess over as a mom.
Extract — continue reading at the source.
