I was sitting with my then-husband in a booth at the Cheesecake Factory, waiting for the newest couple joining our marriage mentor group. We hadn’t spoken on the entire car ride over to the restaurant. As we sat there in silence, the engaged couple arrived smiling and holding hands.
I instantly shifted into my “marriage mentor” persona. I got up, hugged them and invited the couple to have a seat. My husband smiled slightly, but I did most of the talking.
As they settled into the booth, I felt a wave of exhaustion. For the next hour, I would pretend everything was fine. I began my usual routine of asking questions to get to know the couple better and explaining how the group worked.
But they also had questions: How had we met? How long had we been together? How did we handle disagreements?
And then came the question I wasn’t prepared to answer: What was our secret to staying together this long? I don’t remember exactly what I said. Probably something about communication, patience and choosing each other.
Something that sounded like it belonged coming out of the mouth of a marriage mentor. I smiled but felt a knot in my stomach as my whole body tensed up. Because the truth was that I was lying.
Extract — continue reading at the source.
