Most teenagers want to be as far from the watchful eye of their parents as possible, desperately pushing to grow up and live independently, but I could never relate. Between the ages of 8 and 16, I was determined to sleep on my parents' bedroom floor every night. I knew my nighttime routine was not the norm, but it took until I turned 18 to begin understanding why.
That was when I was diagnosed with autism. Three years later, at 21, I was further diagnosed with ADHD. My life looks very different now.
At 23, I sleep independently, travel alone when I need to, co-run my own business and spend my days doing work I love. I am committed to learning about myself and growing daily, but to understand how far I have come, I often find myself looking back at where it all began. Though I have autism and ADHD, being neurodivergent is not something that defines me.
"It's just a factor in my life," I often tell people. "There's nothing wrong with having ADHD or autism, they don't have to be limitations, it's just about how you know yourself and adapt things to your condition to make life as easy as possible." But that perspective took years to develop, especially because my therapist was convinced I was just anxious, which meant it took years to get a diagnosis. For most of my childhood, anxiety did dominate my world, but I did not know that other factors were responsible for its grip.
When I could not sleep in my own room, I was terrified of being kidnapped, of being unconscious, of being unprotected during the night. The fears became so overwhelming that sleeping on my parents' bedroom floor became the only way I felt safe enough to try to rest. Though, this was a secret I carried for years.
I found it embarrassing, especially as I got older. I remember telling a friend about it when I was in elementary school and getting a negative reaction instead of comfort. That experience only reinforced my fear of people finding out.
Extract — continue reading at the source.
