Becoming an author in my late 50s was unexpected, the result of my daughter Hallie’s own existential anxiety in her early 20s. Fearing my untimely demise, she begged me to write down advice that would cover all of life’s bases going forward. I agreed, but put the project off for years; it wasn’t until she cornered me with a laptop on vacation that I gave in.
She asked countless questions, and I found, to my surprise, that I had plenty to say. Hallie helped shape the manuscript, and then spent a year painting its warmly emotional gouache illustrations. Our graphic novel, What to Do When I’m Gone: A Mother’s Wisdom to Her Daughter, was published in 2018.
Though marketed for mothers and daughters, it holds my advice to all three of my children on moving forward after I die. Included are notes on grief and loss and life, plus a few recipes – not because I’m a great cook, but because food is so integral to family heritage. The book is a lighthearted, emotional and highly illustrated ode to moving forward and living life fully while grieving the loss of a parent or, really, anyone you love.
What we’ve learned in the eight years since its release is that readers of all ages have a deep hunger to know more about their parents’ backgrounds, beliefs and values, including around grief and loss. Gone wasn’t exactly a hot property. All but one publisher rejected it, uncertain who would buy a book on death and grief.
But Bloomsbury editor Nancy Miller saw potential for broad readership. Eight years later, it has been published in seven languages and continues to find new readers. The book has brought us comments from around the world.
The most common: I lost a parent (or other loved one, including spouse or beloved pet) and your book helped me through. I gave the book to my kids and wrote my own notes in the margins. I can’t bear the thought of my mom or dad dying, but they don’t want to talk about it.
Extract — continue reading at the source.
