Kurumi MoriTokyo correspondentJiro Akiba/BBCIn Japan, until now only one parent held legal rights over the children after separationOn a weekday afternoon in Japan, John Deng stands near the playground, listening to other children play and laugh. His own son and daughter are nowhere in sight. He longs for the ordinary moments he once shared with his children: taking them to the park, watching them wake up, and being part of their lives.Deng, not his real name, is originally from Hong Kong and has lived in Japan for the past 22 years.
It's where he built his life, met his former partner, and became a father to two children, an eight-year-old son and a 10-year-old daughter.But, he says, that life has come undone. His marriage fell apart, and his children were taken away by his ex-partner without warning.His story is not unusual here. For decades, divorce in Japan often meant a child would lose the presence of one parent entirely.
Often in cases like this, custody went to the parent who left with their children first.Under the old sole custody system, only one parent held legal rights after separation. That meant - regardless of their relationship with the child - the other parent could be forced to disappear from their life, unless the parent with custody grants them access. But things look set to change.
Japan is redefining what "family" looks like after a separation.On 1 April, 2026, a landmark revision to Japan's Civil Code took effect, allowing divorced couples to share custody of their children. Before parliament approved the amendment in 2024, Japan was the only G7 country that did not recognise the legal concept of joint custody."It always shocked me that every time I speak to lawyers in the US and the UK, they say that it's not about win or lose," recalled Seiya Sato, a family lawyer at Setagaya International Law Office based in Tokyo. "It's just focusing on the best interest of children."Jiro Akiba/BBCA new revision to Japan's Civil Code allows divorced couples to share custodyDeng remembers the exact moment he realised he lost the kids.
"I felt helpless — sad and also angry about the system that is allowing that to happen," he said quietly. "They mean the world to me."Now, Deng says he has no choice but to cling onto any opportunity he gets. He maintains two residences, one in Tokyo and the other an hour away, closer to where his children live.Even so, he is only allowed a few hours of supervised time each month, with no contact in between.He says his former partner stopped allowing his daughter to communicate with him by phone.
That means the absence is not only felt physically, missing birthdays, school recitals, and holidays like Father's Day, but also emotionally."I just feel so empty," he said, holding back tears. "I think it's the kids' rights to speak to their parents, both parents, anytime they feel they need to or want to and that's not happening at the moment."The change in custody law offers some hope for parents like Deng who feel they have been cut off from their children. It marks one of the most significant changes to Japan's family law in decades.According to Japan's Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare, around 38.5% of marriages in Japan ended in divorce in 2024 - the most recent year we have statistics for.
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