When you think of infidelity, your mind likely goes to emotional or sexual cheating. But in a relationship, betrayal can look like a variety of things—and some of them don’t even involve another person. Sometimes, the secrets you keep from your partner are all about money.
Erika Rasure tells Cosmopolitan. But it can also be smaller things like being dishonest about the price of a purchase, always rounding down, hiding receipts and shopping bags. Sometimes, people will even keep a separate account without telling their partner and give money to family members without them knowing.
For 13 percent of men, financial infidelity meant not telling their partner how much money they were spending on sports betting. And it happens more than you’d think. According to Bankrate, 40 percent of adults in live-in relationships have committed some form of financial infidelity.
This isn’t because people don’t think it’s a big deal. In fact, 45 percent of people in serious relationships where they consider finances, think financial infidelity is just as bad if not worse than physically cheating. Hidden debt, like any secret, can put that future at risk, so the betrayal hits both emotionally and practically.” Feeling safe with your partner is a huge factor.
And, financial infidelity just makes you trust your partner less. Rasure says that every healthy relationship requires honesty and vulnerability—so when you hide things about your finances, it makes your partner question what else you may be hiding. You’re entitled to your financial independence and to spend your money how you want.
But when you’re in a partnership where finances are involved, you do have a responsibility of transparency with your partner. Of course, this doesn’t mean you need to have someone approve a charge any time you want to buy yourself a pair of shoes or a fancy dinner. It’s usually not about the money, she says—but rather, what the money says about them as a person and as a partner.
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