If you’re lucky.” Actually, the author was me, and I was pretty happy with that line. It was a quote from a novel I wrote that I struggled to get published for a couple of years. I had one agent after another, but it never quite happened.
That experience helped me understand that as you approach middle age, almost everything, even the things you love doing, can contribute to the sense that life is merely a set of problems to be fought or held at bay. Although they didn’t set out to, my children helped me escape this trap, not by being angelic, but by being rude and demanding. Even though I loved writing it—I traveled, had some adventures, and the process itself was rewarding—for a while, not getting it published only added to my worries.
To the London literary scene, I was demographic kryptonite, so the cards were stacked against me anyway. My luxury anxieties piled on top of all the everyday ones. I felt like the captain of one of those massive “garbage barge” ships that traveled hopelessly around the world’s oceans because no port would let it dock.
In middle age, you become a funnel into which all of life’s little problems tumble, plus some big ones too. Men and women have to think about health differently as they approach their late forties. If they’ve been fortunate enough to make it that far without any serious concerns, men face much higher risks of prostate cancer and heart disease, while women face breast cancer and a range of gynecological problems.
And then there’s the menopause. You find problems in having too much money or too little (though too much is preferable). You can find problems in having enough money.
In other words, even comfort can feel uncomfortable. You can love your job but still feel the weight of all that responsibility in ways that never seemed possible when you were 25. If you are married or in a long-term relationship, you somehow end up taking each other for granted as the years roll by.
Extract — continue reading at the source.
