If you hate pretend play, our experts have some good news for you about what kids really need. As a little kid, I remember whining to my mother that I was bored and asking her to play. Her answer was always simple: “I don’t play, but if you want to snuggle and read or do a craft, we can.” Recently, I asked my mom about this, and she laughed.
I knew if I wanted someone to play with, I had to ask a sibling, figure out how to entertain myself, or talk my dad into playing a thrilling round of our family game, “Monster.” (Don’t ask.) While I love my mom’s firm boundary, lately I’ve been feeling guilty when my youngest, who is 3, asks me to play with him. His older siblings are at school, and I work a lot during the day, so giving him my full focus to do what he wants — whether that is playing catch, building a marble run, or constructing a Magna-Tiles fort — feels like an important way to connect. So I turned to some experts to answer the question: Do we really need to play with our kids?
If so, for how long and how often? Play is essential to a child’s development. They learn to communicate, problem-solve, emotionally regulate, and develop creativity, says Dr.
Sasha Hall, a senior educational and child psychologist. When a parent joins in, kids can benefit from the communication practice and the experience of having their parent’s full attention. But that doesn’t mean a parent needs to get on their creaky knees and push cars around the living room.
Instead, Hall recommends making sure you’re noticing your child. Are you responsive to their needs? Do you offer them your attention?
Are you interested and emotionally available? Secure parent-child relationships, she says, happen when a parent is the magnificent three: responsive, predictable, and safe. This rings true of my experience.
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