My sister-in-law is nearly 40 but cannot handle losing at board games. No matter how high or low the stakes, she has to win. When she doesn’t, she becomes explosive with rage, and often upends the game, sweeps dice off the table, or storms off in a rage.
She is otherwise a normal and lovely person, with whom I get on very well. Seeing this side of her makes me deeply uncomfortable and it feels really childish and inappropriate. Will she behave that way with me if I say or do something she doesn’t like?
I think in an effort to smooth the tension, my husband’s family always laughs and teases her about her reaction. It’s like her “special little characteristic” that everyone pretends to love. I wish there was a way to address it but everyone seems to just sweep it under the rug.
My husband is aware of how I feel about this. Recently, she’s started dating a new partner, who is absolutely lovely. When she has a big reaction after board games I can also sense him tensing up, so I know this is affecting more than just me.
Ultimately, I’m worried for my sister-in-law that if she continues this behaviour, and the family continues to indulge it, she will suffer personal and professional consequences. I also don’t enjoy being around the dynamic, and think it is likely we’ll spend less time with her as a result. Eleanor says: I know someone who ended a relationship because their partner too gleefully teamed up with an ex to lie in a game of wink murder.
I know someone who decided not to have kids with their then partner because when he played with kids, he got a kick out of really scaring them. I know someone whose friendship never recovered after one shouted the c-word in a card game. Often it’s in the fictional that we most see the real.
Extract — continue reading at the source.
