I first downloaded Instagram when I was 17 and became hooked on it the way most people fall in love: slowly, and then all at once. For a long time, I never considered myself a social media addict. I self-righteously refused to download TikTok, declared Snapchat to be for “children”, and posted less regularly on Instagram than half of the people I followed.
As I went through my university years, however, certain changes crept up on me. I began to swap reading – or essay-writing – for hours spent curating new posts. On my way home from lectures (or later, from my work as a journalist), I would spend ages trying to take the artsiest, most perfect picture of that evening’s sunset for my story – as if the people who followed me were eagerly awaiting yet another photo of one of the Earth’s rotations.
What usually followed was a night of reloading my feed to see how many people had reacted to my post – or worse, hadn’t reacted at all. It wasn’t until a trip to Sri Lanka last year that I realised how far my obsession had gone. My partner and I spent two weeks travelling through Negombo and Kandy, having dinner in front of the Indian Ocean and visiting ancient heritage sites that I will probably never see again.
This would have been memorable even without a third guest: my inner Instagram monologue. It commented on everything I saw in those two weeks, debating the merits of each photo I took and the possible captions (or music, or filters) that could accompany it. On one of our last days, we hiked up Sigiriya, an incredible rock fortress that has been inhabited since prehistoric times and is one of the most remarkable places I have ever seen.
My first thought upon reaching the top? This has to go on my story. Already, I was imagining how it would look on Instagram.
I dutifully made several posts upon my return to London, which were accompanied by hours of anxious scrolling and reloading, wondering why more people weren’t liking or commenting on my feed. Did they think I was annoying? Had I been ungenerous with my own likes and comments, causing my followers (a grand total of 400) to band together to punish me?
Extract — continue reading at the source.
