On a room temperature night at Wembley Stadium Kane duly did this, drawing level with Peter Shilton’s record for England caps, and doing so while delivering a performance of Total Midweek Kane. There were two neat, slick goals, one in each half, the high points of a 3-0 win against Czechia that all but guarantees a place in the Nations League knockouts. England need one more point in November to be certain.
At which point Kane will have the chance to carry on equalling his own new caps record, humbly paying tribute to himself each time, saying, yeah, it’s an honour to share that number with a man like (myself). Otherwise this was a game that felt like it was dying right from the first whistle. With half-time looming and England 1-0 up through Vladimir Coufal’s spectacular close-range own goal, a really savage finish, it was tempting to take a poll of everyone in the ground on whether we should just wrap it up here and all go home.
But there was still one thing left to happen, the dishing up of a moment of iconic Tuesday Wembley Kane. And of course we got one. It is tempting to call Kane The Postman on these occasions, but the difference is he actually delivers.
He does also wear shorts a lot too, so there’s that. The moment arrived on 40 minutes, and it was classical in its execution, a nod to the back catalogue, like Rolling Stones doing Satisfaction, Del Boy falling through the bar. It was also a fittingly perfect English football move, like something out of the Charles Hughes FA handbook: three long-distance touches, 100 yards covered, Elliot Anderson’s excellent swivelling pass, Morgan Rogers with a volleyed cross and Kane with the finish on his right foot, a first-time ping across the goalkeeper, a move straight out of Lilleshall 1979, cones and bibs, Don Howe nodding along.
There was a bashful semi-guard of honour as England’s players lined up to shake hands. On the touchline Thomas Tuchel applauded solemnly rather than punching the air, up there in formal black trousers, black jumper, black leather lace-ups, hair shorn at the ears, like Prince William managing a charity game. At that moment Kane’s England goals-to-games ratio read 90 in 125, great symmetrical numbers, and the temptation to void the second half might have been overwhelming.
But there was still one more thing that needed to happen, and Kane duly achieved it on 57 minutes. His second goal was a lovely downward header from a corner, a moment that combined two classic tropes, the hanging in the air, the creating of the pace on the ball. That was pretty much that.
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