On the first “Weekend Update” of “Saturday Night Live” Season 52, Jeremy Culhane revived his fan-favorite impression of Tucker Carlson to offer his thoughts on some of the summer’s biggest blockbusters. On “The Odyssey,” Carlson mentioned the specialty format of Imax 70mm, saying, “The Hollywood cabal shoots its filth with millimeters — or as I like to call it, the gay inch.” He added, “I like ‘The Odyssey.’ It’s so nice to see Greek people do something other than make women feel uncomfortable.” Carlson then turned his attention to the biggest movie of the year, saying, “Everybody loves ‘Spider-Man: Brand New Gender.'” “That’s not what it’s called,” Colin Jost asserted, but the conservative commentator was already inventing a theme song: “Spider-They, Spider-Them uses whatever bathroom it feels like.” Carlson then congratulated the movie’s stars on getting married, but stopped himself as he said, “I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. — huh? She refused to take his last name.” As Jost reminded him that Zendaya “doesn’t have a last name,” Carlson said, “But where did it go?
Sorry kids, you don’t get two names anymore. You only get one name, like a dog. That’s the goal now.” When asked about “Obsession,” Carlson said, “The left’s idea of a horror movie — that a woman is forced to love a man.
I’m being chased by a heterosexual relationship! Maybe.” Carlson continued on, equating “Minions and Monsters” to “Trump’s cabinet” and then saying, deadpan, “That’s right. I’m so brave.” And, finally, the pundit made a raunchy “Toy Story 5” joke.
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