Although Michelai, 33 had been in threesomes before, she was typically the person in the relationship inviting an additional body to the mix. But for the first time, she was going to be the third—and she was thrilled by the idea of it. She was approached by a married couple on a trip to Vegas.
"They were seeking me out, which also made me a little bit more confident and comfortable,” she says. When it comes to threesomes, conversations usually revolve around experimenting sexually when you’re already in a relationship: What boundaries to discuss, whether it’s the right decision for your and your partner, and what aftercare may look like. It’s rare that the third person in the scenario is addressed.
But communication, attention, and care are required for everyone involved, including the person joining just for the night. Ty David Lerman, PhD tells Cosmopolitan. Jess joined her best girlfriend and her situationship at the time.
At first, it was just to watch them (which she really enjoyed). But eventually it turned into a regular hookup with the both of them. Stepping into an established couple’s world could feel awkward, but Michelai says it didn’t.
Because she’d been the “primary” woman before, she knew which questions to ask. The husband was clearly letting his wife lead, so Michelai directed her questions to the wife before she ever approached him. And the husband’s etiquette in the moment won her over: “I really respected that he would straight-up ask her something in the middle of us doing something, like whether he could do this or that.
I was like, ‘You know what? Hell yeah.’” Jess, meanwhile, felt like a bit of an outsider at first—but only because she wanted to give her friend time to adjust. Since the threesome was her idea, she didn’t want to overstep.
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