Maybe you've stopped entertaining the guy who only remembers you exist after 10 p.m. Or maybe the thought of sitting across from another stranger, explaining what you do for work and how many siblings you have sounds about as appealing as a root canal. Whatever the reason, you've decided you're not dating right now.
And apparently, it seems like everyone you tell this to has some type of question. Have you given up on love? And, perhaps most importantly to the nosiest people in your life, Does this mean you're not having sex?
Take one of my girlfriends, for example. After moving to New York City in 2022, she spent much of her first few years wrapped up in a relationship. Since their breakup two years ago, she hasn't really been dating.
Not because she's heartbroken or has given up on love, but because she's been busy building a life of her own. She's made lasting friendships, explored new neighborhoods, picked up hobbies, and even gotten a dog. Not to distract herself from being single, but because these are things she genuinely wants to do.
She even checks the apps occasionally. But unless her dog's leash gets tangled with that of a particularly attractive stranger at the park, dating simply isn't a priority. And that's the thing about not dating: It doesn't necessarily mean you're lonely, healing, closed off to romance, or even celibate.
Sometimes folks simply aren't interested in dating, full stop. So, I asked relationship experts to debunk five of the biggest misconceptions about not dating, including where celibacy fits into the picture. There's a difference between not wanting a relationship and not wanting to date.
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