FAR TOO OFTEN, today’s Hollywood hunks deny their beauty to play a cavalcade of schmucks, freaks, and losers with funny accents, hiding in prosthetics because they think this will transform them into “serious” actors in the public eye. But this strategy doesn’t always pay off. Leo spent two hours and 42 minutes running around in a plaid bathrobe and messy man bun only to lose the Best Actor Oscar to Michael B.
Jordan, who played a smokeshow vampire with a spit kink (and his identically sexy twin). It’s best not to underestimate someone with undeniable sex appeal and unquenchable blood lust, as Alexander Skarsgård knows all too well from his years playing Eric Northman on True Blood. The role not only made Stockholm’s native son a household name in America, but an instantly recognizable sex symbol.
Not that he needed much help from Hollywood. Skarsgård is 6'4" of muscle with anime bone structure. He’s 50, but doesn’t age in human years.
He makes us mere mortal men all look, and feel, lesser than. The scion of Swedish acting royalty comes from a place where everyone kind of looks like that, yet he’s been named Sweden’s Sexiest Man Alive five times. From scanning his filmography, it’s clear that at a certain point, Skarsgård decided to lean into his lot in life as an unapologetic sex symbol.
Over the past two decades, he’s slowly gravitated toward roles that don’t attempt to soften or normalize his hunkiness, portraying a diverse range of characters who all just happen to be ridiculously hot in films and television shows that play with his beauty, what it means, and how it messes with the rest of us. In his latest, Wicker, Skarsgård plays a literal object of desire, the purest distillation of his on-screen persona as a sweet and (still, somehow) sexy magical dildo who loves doing chores and adores his fishmonger wife (Olivia Colman), causing hysteria in a village full of dumbasses who have no idea how to treat or fuck a woman. In other words, he’s Alexander Skarsgård.
The Male Model: Zoolander & Zoolander 2 (2001 & 2016) Ben Stiller’s comedy classic is built around the premise that Jerry Stiller’s son and Owen Wilson and Benedict Cumberbatch are male models. A fun piece of trivia is Skarsgård was inserted as one of Derek’s United Nations of conventionally attractive roommates. Baby faced Meekus is hilariously bad at bitchy teenage girl humor and loves orange mocha frappuccinos.
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