On Instagram feeds that are often teeming with curated, contrived content, a recent post from Monette Wagner stood out for her disarming openness. Looking into the camera, Wagner, a 36-year-old mother of three, said in the video: “Divorce can feel like a death.” In what resembles a digital journal, Wagner has posted videos in real time about the emotions and life changes that have come with her recent divorce. Developing financial independence, getting used to co-parenting, and moving on from heartbreak are frequent themes of her Instagram posts.
A growing number of people, the majority of them women, are sharing unvarnished divorce stories, both offering and seeking advice on social media. Moving beyond a stigma around discussing marital breakdowns, the content provides a space for the creators to heal, and for their followers to relate and reflect on their own experiences and emotions. A professional photographer in Indianapolis, Wagner already had a platform on Instagram to share and promote her work.
But she recently took the page in this more vulnerable direction. Alongside posts about the heavier moments, she also shares lessons learned and more optimistic musings. She has posted about wanting to reconnect with the confident, curious person she was more than a decade ago — before she met her now-former husband.
She's revisiting passions she had as a teen, including skateboarding and learning to DJ. I wanted to show them how strong hope is,” she said. I feel like I faced my fears of showing up scared, of putting myself out there as my authentic self.” Social media platforms are rife with divorce-related content On TikTok, where niche categories of content sometimes earn a nickname, content that delves into marital woes has been dubbed “divorce-tok.” The level of detail creators choose to divulge about their divorce and marriage varies widely.
Some, like Wagner, do not post about their ex-partners. Others provide detailed accounts of issues in their marriage and the sometimes messy and lengthy process of finalizing their divorce. The voyeuristic world of social media tends to love story-time-style videos where creators talk as if they’re chatting on the phone with a friend, sparing no details.
Some creators post one-off videos, while others make it the focus on their platforms. Trends related to divorce also periodically pop up online, like this season’s “hot divorcée summer” videos and clips showing people’s post-divorce “glow-ups,” or physical, and in many cases, emotional, transformations. The #divorce hashtag has millions of posts on both TikTok and Instagram.
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