So the Republican congressional candidate did the only reasonable thing in the circumstances—and debated a chicken instead. It wasn't a real chicken, because clearly that would have been ridiculous. It was a Constantino staffer in an inflatable chicken suit, sharing a stage with a horse skeleton and answering questions with prerecorded clips of the absent Democrat, Blake Gendebien.
The October 24 "Pumpkin Rally" also featured, naturally, a wall of pumpkins. For more than half a century, right up to the latest Midterms, candidates have corralled an impressive range of creatures to help them win office: rats, bears, pigs, parrots, monkeys, alligators, cows, and the odd mythical beast. There have been allegations involving Bigfoot erotica, ads about monkeys on cocaine, and commercials in which sharks fall from the sky.
Constantino, narrowly ahead as of writing in a rare ray of light in the GOP gloom, may not regret his choice of species, even though the chicken has the worst electoral record of any animal in American politics. We know this because Newsweek has kept score, though it might not survive a statistical autopsy. It's tempting to see all this as the debasement of the national conversation, a repeated allegation during the now-deceased Trump era of politics.
Except for one thing: mockery is a cornerstone of democracy. The freedom to laugh at one's opponent is not enjoyed in many of the world's authoritarian states. In China, censors began deleting social media images comparing Xi Jinping to Winnie the Pooh in 2017.
The following year, Disney's Christopher Robin was refused a Chinese release. So as today's results are digested, and the "lame duck" Trump political obituaries are written, let's celebrate America's political zoo, starting at the bottom of the table. The chicken's losing streak began in 2014.
In Colorado, Democrat Irv Halter faced three men in chicken suits at a mock debate after Republican Doug Lamborn refused to show. In Iowa, Democrat Bruce Braley ran an ad featuring a baby chick to suggest voters had barely heard a peep from Joni Ernst about spending. In Minnesota, Republican Mike McFadden's campaign staged a chicken-costume protest against Al Franken at the state fair.
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