Chewed up gum, unraveled yarn, a flower stripped of its petals. Like so many in my generation, my introduction to sex was in pro-abstinence talks with my church youth group and in my sterile health class in Georgia, where my teacher would list the topics she wasn’t allowed to discuss and instead place emphasis on sexually transmitted diseases. I was given examples like those above for what it would mean to be a young woman who pursued sex outside of marriage.
It was part of the ongoing movement of “saving yourself for marriage” popularized by a handful of celebrities and the “purity culture” pushed by evangelical Christian groups like LifeWay Christian Resources and Focus on the Family. Their main platform was defining sex as strictly between a married man and woman, often with women being taught to fear sexuality instead of understanding desire, intimacy, and pleasure. Mental health professionals studying evangelical purity culture have documented increased cases of anxiety, depression, and sexual dysfunction, but also a lack of knowledge and language around sex and pleasure.
Researchers have also concluded that “abstinence-only education as a state policy is ineffective in preventing teenage pregnancy and may actually be contributing” to higher rates. And that doesn’t even include the near-complete exclusion of LGBTQ+ representation. The “tradwife” and “manosphere” content praising traditional roles of today harkens back to purity culture.
While traditional sex education of the past few decades often failed to address pleasure, consent, communication, and desire, romance novels became an informal education system that helped readers explore sexuality without shame. The term “romance novel” has long been associated with discount paperbacks, the “bodice rippers” featuring the bare chest of an illustrated Fabio, and authors like Jackie Collins and Danielle Steel. Harlequin launched as an imprint solely for these novels, often targeting housewives who could purchase titles at their grocery stores.
She’s also the author of The Purity Culture Recovery Guide: The Shame-Free Sex Education You Deserve. Disparagingly (and lately, somewhat less disparagingly) called “smut,” these titles might have been ones you didn’t display proudly on the living room bookcase. They introduced readers to anatomy and a sexual vocabulary in a way they might not otherwise have learned.
Unfortunately, they were also rife with toxic relationship dynamics and gender stereotypes. In the past decade, however, the category has absolutely exploded, thanks in part to #BookTok, with varying “spice” levels and sub-genres like regency romance, dark romance, and fantasy romance. Several books have hit the mainstream book club set, including Heated Rivalry, A Court of Thorns and Roses, and Fifty Shades of Grey, which opened up audiences to the world of BDSM, even if it was a flawed interpretation of the kink scene.
Extract — continue reading at the source.
