Whether it’s your first or thousandth time with your partner, let’s say you’re in a mood. Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get it On” might as well be playing on a loudspeaker in your head, because you’re ready to pounce. You want to make a move, but for whatever reason, you’re nervous to.
Sometimes, being the initiator is hard. It’s vulnerable for a multitude of reasons, and no one wants to be rejected, whether it’s a longtime partner or a sticky situationship. And of course, you always want to respect what mood your partner is in, too.
So, how can you make the first move with confidence, you ask? Well, lucky for you we went ahead and reached out to sex experts to get their thoughts, and they covered everything from how to read your partner’s arousal roadmap to accepting rejection. There’s something super hot about knowing how to talk to your partner without saying a word.
Whether it’s a simple stroke on the lower back or elongated eye contact, sometimes those non-verbals do all the talking. Experts advised the importance of reading your partner, even when no words are involved in communication. Consent should feel like something you’re both creating, not something one person is trying to decode.” While acknowledging body language can be leveraged, Aidan A.
Sunassee, ABS-certified sexologist and kink coach, acknowledges the dangers of solely relying on it. But don’t stress yourself out trying to make it perfect. Plumb suggests trying to lessen the pressure of setting the mood.
Specifically, outdated expectations on gender roles. That’s a pretty limiting setup for everyone, and it doesn’t reflect the huge variety of relationships and bodies people actually have. Initiation, pursuit, and being pursued can all move back and forth.
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