I always knew that my life would change when I became a parent, but I never could have imagined the harsh reality of that impact. We are often told that motherhood is this magical time that leaves women feeling fulfilled and thriving, yet I could not have felt further from that. I spent much of my thirties single and living in London.
I was always busy, whether I was being independent or making plans with other people. There was constantly somewhere new to visit and so much variety at my fingertips. I also went on a lot of trips by myself and could be incredibly spontaneous while single—often booking vacations with just a day’s notice.
Then I met my husband and we quickly found a shared love of exploring and seeing new places. Our weekends were always booked up with trips, date nights and adventures. I loved my life back then, and I do really miss it.
Part of me desperately wanted a family though, and I always had this vision of someday having two children. Once I met my husband, I guess you could say that things moved pretty fast. We were both a bit older and knew that we wanted to be together, so we got married after two years.
We agreed that it would be great to have a child, but we'd be equally happy without one. As it turned out, I fell pregnant just six months after we got married. I had convinced myself that it wouldn't happen due to my age, so it was a big surprise that came around so quickly.
I did not have a particularly bad pregnancy in terms of side effects, but I did not enjoy being pregnant whatsoever. I really struggled with the changes to my body and not being able to wear my own clothes. I felt like I lost my identity.
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