Starting tomorrow, I will officially be a full-time stay-at-home mom. It will be my first time not working in over a decade, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't absolutely terrified of the future. As you all know, I've been with Newsweek for nearly a decade and have been working part-time since March when I had a mental breakdown about going back to work after having my son.
The time has now come for me to leave Newsweek, so this is the last column I'll write. I'll always be grateful for the time I've had here, the people I've met, and the things I've learned. I've been at Newsweek almost as long as the show Friends was on air, and I've known some of my coworkers longer than I've known my husband.
Newsweek was never just what I did; it was who I am. It's been my identity for years. So, what is going to happen when that identity goes away?
I honestly don't know, but just like I did during maternity leave, I'm going to have to learn who I am outside of my career and my habitual need to be working. I'm going to have to realign my self-worth with who I am as a person and not who I am as a job. I'm going to have to get comfortable with people not being impressed by my "cool" job when we go to parties and settle into the casual silence that usually comes after you tell someone you're a stay-at-home mom.
Come Monday when I'd normally sit down at my desk, sign onto Teams and catch up on what I missed over the weekend, it'll be strange to be sitting on the floor watching my toddler play with his toys instead. Of course, I've gotten a taste of that life working part time. Now, I'm not sure if that has made me feel more comfortable or more anxious about this transition.
I've asked myself if I can really handle being home with my toddler every single day. Being a mom is having no autonomy for 12 or more hours a day. You're constantly being touched, asked for something, having to get up and down off the floor, clean gross substances off things and try to regulate an emotionally unstable human being.
Extract — continue reading at the source.
