The most-quoted line of the French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre is "hell is other people." But the Gallic brainiac got it only half-right. For a lot of us in middle-age or those about to join that club, Sartre’s statement would be more accurately expressed as "hell is other parents." This universal truth transcends gender, class and race. It’s not the protected characteristics of a fellow parent that grinds my gears or makes me recoil in horror from small talk or joining in the "fun." It’s their parenty-ness.
I’m quite capable of taking a dislike to parents outside kindergarten. Touchline or courtside dads. At ballet or drama classes.
Like Dirty Harry, I can hate anyone. Maybe, for young parents, it’s different, but by the time a parent reaches middle-age, they have spent a good portion of their life weeding out all the selfish and irritating people they met in the first half of their existence. There is a kind of Darwinism to middle-age, where you evolve away from bad buddies and useless acquaintances because you think, "Life’s too short, why am I giving my time to these people?" You’re still stuck with relatives you’d like to get rid of but can’t, and they give you enough trouble without having to manage unreliable or needy old friends as well.
So, being forced together with fresh sets of adults at this stage of life undermines your grand plan for getting older, which is supposed to involve more time to do the things you love, less stress and fewer psychological entanglements. I know other parents feel the same way about me and I don’t take it personally. I’d be even more suspicious of them if they did like me.
Liking me is a sure sign of bad judgment. But at least other dads are honest. They don’t really like me or have any interest in my life.
When I’ve been forced at metaphorical gunpoint to talk to other fathers, I make it my business to ask them what job they do, where they grew up etc., on the basis that my wife will beat me if I don’t. They never, ever ask me about myself. Which proves I’ve been right all along.
Extract — continue reading at the source.
