The way you see yourself affects all other aspects of your life. It shows up in how you speak to other people, how you walk into a room, and even—or, maybe especially—how you have sex. Typically, we think of body image issues in relation to women.
I know: What a shocker considering we’re only constantly barraged since basically birth with ideas of how we’re “supposed” to look. But, in the age of “looksmaxxing,” “hardmaxxing,” and other male beauty trends, it seems as though the spotlight is starting to shine intensely on men, too. And when you start to become obsessed with the idea of how big and bulging your muscles are, you could potentially develop muscle dysmorphia—a psychological disorder where you’re extremely dissatisfied with how you perceive your own muscles.
You may be wondering why a fixation on your muscles isn’t just labeled as “body dysmorphia” along with other disorders people have surrounding their body image. Well, muscle dysmorphia is a form of Body Dysmorphic Disorder. But because it specifically targets a belief that one’s body is too small, weak, or insufficiently muscular and lean—even when the individual is physically large or well-built—it comes with its own subset of resulting issues.
And some of these issues manifest in the bedroom. According to a study, boys and men ages 15-35 who showed a dissatisfaction or discomfort with their bodies—especially in regard to their muscles—were more likely to experience sexual hangups and issues. This includes having anxiety during sex, a lack of sexual interest or enjoyment, lack of arousal, difficulty orgasming, physical pain, or some form of erectile dysfunction.
In this study, the strongest link was with appearance intolerance, which means having discomfort with being seen. Additionally, it’s important to note that some of the ways these men were choosing to build muscle—extreme training, restrictive eating, or steroids—were potentially also causing sexual function issues. Therapist Jaron Vesely explains that body image is such a significant issue in men because it gives them an aspect of their life where effort and control really pay off.
So eventually, those feelings translate into something called “spectatoring” during sex. When you’re being intimate with someone, you usually feel the most pleasure when you can be inside your own experiences of sensation, arousal, and connection. Someone who’s preoccupied with how his body looks, however, is often just watching himself from across the room instead.
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