The surprising upside of envy, the emotion we’re taught to hide

The surprising upside of envy, the emotion we’re taught to hide View our Twitter (X) feedView our Youtube channelView our Instagram feedView our Substack feedView our Spotify feed The surprising upside of envy, the emotion we’re taught to hide Envy gets a bad rap, but it can be a powerful source of self-knowledge. Mind and BehaviorPsychologyEmotionIdentityEmotion Regulation Adapted from Envy: Why Wanting What They Have Is the Key to Getting What You Want by Stacy S. There was a distinct moment when I stopped being a happy-go-lucky little girl, one who could play for hours alone at the bathroom sink with a set of colorful plastic nesting cups, and became someone who felt left behind and unseen.

I woke up early one Saturday morning in 1975 to silence, which meant my parents were still asleep in their makeshift bedroom — what was once the dining room. They had given me the sole bedroom in our small apartment in Evanston, Illinois. To get to them or any food in the kitchen, I had to cross the living room.

Our living room was full of baby things. There were pastel-colored items everywhere. Stuffed animal toys, baby blankets, clothes, bottles, diapers, pacifiers, a crib, bathtub, shampoos, soaps, and lotion.

From the stack of cards on our small dining room table at the other end of the living room, I pieced together that my mother’s friends had thrown her a baby shower. I recalled that she had left to go somewhere the night before. I remembered thinking how strange it was that she was going somewhere at all; she never went out, let alone after a long day of work and the “L” ride back from downtown Chicago.

I began to search through the new items. I kept looking, even though deep down, I had a hunch I wouldn’t find what I was looking for. There were no gifts for me.

So many toys for the baby. But standing in that small living room, I assessed that my unborn sibling had received more possessions in one evening than I had in my entire life. Becoming a big sister was not the main event.