Being in sync with your partner when doing the deed is critical element, and I’m not just talking about getting the right rhythm. Maybe you’re sexually frustrated and don’t feel like you’re having enough sex. Maybe you’re sexually overwhelmed and you don’t know how to tell your partner.
Or maybe you’ve found yourself comparing how often you have sex to other peoples’ sex lives. We reached out to experts to get some insight as to how often couples are having sex. Right off the bat, a rule of thumb was that comparison is a trap, and there’s no one-size-fits-all standard for how frequently or infrequently you’re doing it.
Stress is higher than ever right now, from rising costs to general economic uncertainty. So it makes sense that external pressures would impact a libido. This isn’t news, but it is a good reminder of why and how your sex life could be impacted.
Instead of having sex that ends up being bad, they’d rather just not have sex at all “More and more people are saying: if the sex isn’t good, I’d rather not have any at all,” she tells Cosmo. At the same time, people are much better at naming their boundaries and are far more in touch with their own needs.” Eichhorn says she hears this question often. There is no fixed number.” Instead of focusing on frequency, it’s better to focus on your needs being met.
Short answer: It depends. It’s okay to ask yourself questions about your sex life, but Boyer has a suggestion: “Replace ‘Are we having as much sex as they are?’ with ‘Does our sex life work for us?’” she suggests. Above all, Boyer offers sound advice when it comes to comparison.
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