I’ve discovered I like to be spanked – my orgasms have become much stronger Ian was dating my best friend, Susan, when we met 15 years ago. She invited me around to his house for dinner, and when he opened the door, I thought: oh my god, he’s cute. After they broke up 10 months in and she started seeing someone else, I asked for his contact details and we went on a date.
When I called Susan to tell her I was in love, she was totally silent. It’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Ian is much more sexual than I am: his love language is physical touch, while mine is quality time.
I just don’t think about sex as much as he does. Him wanting to do it more than I do has caused tension, but it wasn’t something we spoke about. Then five years ago, while on a road trip, we put on the podcast Sex With Emily to pass the time.
I’d never heard anyone talk about sex like that before. After that, we’d listen to a sex podcast, pause and discuss it, and now we have a dialogue about sex, which has made intimacy so much better. I’ve become more curious and adventurous: I’ve discovered I like to be spanked, and my orgasms have become much stronger because I’m more relaxed.
We also plan sex now – about twice a week – which gives me time to get in the mood. But I need quality time first: if we’ve been talking and feeling close, I’m more likely to want sex. Ian is the opposite – he needs sex to feel close.
Ian has a pass to have sex with men, although he’s rarely used it. Sex doesn’t threaten me, but emotional intimacy does. Ian makes me feel safe and desired, sometimes too much.
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