When Harriet, 43, became a mom, she expected her children to have the same close relationship with their grandparents that she had with hers. While they lived a few hundred miles away, her grandparents would visit a few times a year, helping with school drop-offs and pickups, and generally being involved in family life. "I loved spending time with my grandparents and really looked forward to it," Harriet, who asked for her real name to remain private, told Newsweek.
"I, perhaps naively, thought the pattern would repeat." She said family time is frequently pushed aside, with summer holidays sometimes passing without her parents seeing their grandchildren because other plans and appointments took priority. "I know plenty of people who almost have childcare on tap thanks to grandparents and while that's never something I expected from my parents, it has sometimes felt a bit strange to be the only mom in the school playground at pick up time surrounded by grandparents," Harriet said. Harriet isn't the only parent who feels that today's grandparents are less involved than previous generations.
Across social media, parents have shared stories of struggling to get help from their own parents, even for occasional childcare or support. Phyllis, 36, (@motherphyllis) argued that many millennials grew up hearing their parents talk excitedly about becoming grandparents, only to find those expectations dashed once grandchildren arrived. "Y'all couldn't wait to have grandbabies," she said in her clip.
"You were so excited about it. And then they get here, and you maybe stop up at the hospital, maybe stop over to the house, you stay for 45 minutes, snap a picture, upload it to Facebook, and then you gotta get home to the dogs." Phyllis previously told Newsweek that she thinks this is "a common experience" among millennial parents. So, why don’t boomers want to grandparent?
Jane Eagle, inclusion manager and designated safeguarding lead at Crimson Global Academy and a CPT3A-qualified child well-being specialist, told Newsweek that family life itself has changed dramatically. "People are working longer, retirement is often delayed, and the cost of living means that many grandparents simply don't have the same freedom or financial security that previous generations may have enjoyed," she said. Eagle, who is also a grandmother, said that work and other commitments could also play a role in how much time grandparents are able to give.
"I see friends of a similar age who are still working, managing their own commitments and trying to find time to enjoy their grandchildren," she said. "It's not necessarily that they don't want to be involved. Sometimes there simply aren't enough hours in the day." Availability may only be part of the story.
Extract — continue reading at the source.
