Your bucket list is probably full of big dreams: go sky-diving, learn to speak Italian, finally take that trip to see the northern lights. You might think that all that possibility should give you something to look forward to—but spend enough time staring at everything you haven’t done, and your yet-to-be-checked off aspirations can start to feel like more proof you’re somehow behind. That’s what bothered Simon Sinek, who hosts the podcast A Bit of Optimism and is the author of books including Start With Why, about the concept of a bucket list.
And that just leads to disappointment and regret.” About 15 years ago, in a small act of rebellion, Sinek started keeping a reverse bucket list: a log of all the wonderful things he’d already experienced, like the time he saw a complete rainbow instead of just part of one. Sinek keeps his list on his phone, where he sometimes stumbles across it while searching for something else. Then he gets sidetracked revisiting his own life and remembering experiences he’d forgotten about.
A reverse bucket list works because it interrupts one of your brain's most stubborn habits: always looking ahead to what's next instead of pausing to appreciate what's already happened. That translates into rarely stopping long enough to notice “everything we've already experienced, survived, learned, or built.” Making the list gives you a reason to notice the lovely, surprising, unexpectedly funny things that happen in the middle of an ordinary day, which are easy to miss when you’re already thinking about what’s next. When you start actively seeking out these moments, you may find that you spend more time celebrating what's already part of your life, rather than dwelling on what’s missing.
Writing down your own personal highlights gives you something to revisit when it feels like everyone else is having a better time. She keeps her old journals for precisely that reason: They remind her of the friends, trips, and fun she might otherwise overlook. Rereading them gives those memories a little more time and attention.
Those reminders may lift your mood and support your self-esteem, too—especially when you recognize your own role in making something good happen. As Kushner puts it: “I did take that risk. I did build that friendship.
I did get through that season.” When it’s easier to focus on what’s going wrong, the list offers concrete reminders of what’s gone right. Aim to make your entries specific, whether the experience was big or small. For example, you might record a Tuesday dinner with friends: “Everyone stayed at the table chatting for three hours.” There’s room for big milestones (an awe-inspiring trip or promotion at work) as well as what Kushner describes as “micro moments of joy.” “These are the daily things that happen that we might kind of gloss over, but that are just as important,” she says.
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