A psychological guide to climbing out of debt

is a psychotherapist and author of the multi-awardwinning book Money on Your Mind: The Psychology Behind Your Financial Habits (2024). She runs her own practice in London and online, and writes a column for The Times and The Sunday Times. If you’re struggling with debt, you’ll know that it is more than a financial issue.

As a psychotherapist, I work every day with people who have ended up in problem debt – debt that is a struggle to manage or pay back, leading to a spiralling financial situation. I’ve seen firsthand how often debt has roots in deeply emotional issues – and I’ve witnessed its emotional consequences. Many clients have told me they associate debt with being ‘disorganised’ and feeling ‘irresponsible’.

They feel shame about what their debt ‘makes them’ and fear that seeking help will lead to them being judged negatively. As a result, even talking about it becomes difficult. Of course, debt can result from irresponsible behaviour, but this is far from always the case.

Anyone can end up with problem debt as a result of relationship breakdown, redundancy, illness and other practical hardships. Whatever the root causes, it can be difficult to face. You may have found that simple tasks like checking your banking app or opening letters from the bank, calling the bank or seeking money advice feel impossible, perhaps out of a fear of judgment or seeing how the debt has grown.

But the longer debt goes unaddressed, the worse the consequences – not just financial (the earlier debt is tackled the more options there are), but also emotional. Guilt can turn into a pervasive shame; a small secret kept long can break the trust in relationships. The manageable becomes overwhelming.

So climbing out of debt isn’t just a financial task, but one that requires the emotional capacity to face the fact without collapsing into panic or avoidance; the courage to take action (action breeds confidence rather than the other way round); the curiosity to explore what caused the debt in the first place; and the humility to ask for help. I have been with clients as they revealed debt to their partners, and slowly rebuilt those relationships. I have heard their relief when they called the bank and were met with understanding rather than punishment.